Feeling Rules

“It is better to give than to receive,” is a quote heard during the holidays meaning it is better to give some one a gift than it is to receive a gift. Hochschild describes feeling rules and the importance of them in today’s society. She claims that one way a society attempts to control people is through feeling rules that uphold broad social values and structures (pg174). The slogan “It is better to give than to receive,” is a motivated slogan used to get people to purchase items during the holidays. In addition, it reenforces the altruistic ideology structured into today’s American society. It is acceptable feel to good giving someone a gift and not receive anything other than a “Thank you” in return. However, is it better to give someone else the promotion instead of receiving that promotion yourself? Of course not, if you are qualified to make more money, why would you give that up simply because “It is better to give than to receive.” If we were to continuously try to abide by this altruistic slogan we would have nothing at all for ourselves. Imagine everything that you receive you give away to someone else because it is better to do that. The end result would eventually be death. Feeling rules are very powerful and if not used correctly can be devastating to a society. 

Capitalize on thought speed

The importance of listening in order to be able to effectively communicate is evident in both the text and by Dr. Nichols in “Listening is a 10 Part Skill.” There are many similarities between the novel and our text. Listening skill number three, “Hold your fire”  and the ambushing section of the text are identical in content. However, listening skill number ten, “Capitalize on thought speed,” is a topic of its own. The speed at which humans think compared to the speed at which we speak is drastically different. It is important that all the skills listed in the novel are used in order be able to capitalize on how quickly we think. Without the previous nine skills, the tenth skill would not be possible because the other skills actually teach you how to “capitalize on thought speed.” The last part of the novel reemphases that proper communication starts with our ears and being able truly listen to the communicator. 

I've never really liked Monopoly

Familiarizing myself with the six different forms of non listening was enlightening because I have been guilty of them all. Realizing how problematic non listening can be makes it possible to adjust any errors in conversation. Monopolizing a conversation is the form of non listening that I am going to try to improve. The times that this form of non listening really stands out is when I am conversing with strangers or people I really do not know. Understanding that I may not see these people again, I feel the importance of communicating my thoughts. However, this is not an excuse to monopolize a conversation. Just like the text says, “We already know what we think and feel, so there’s little we can learn from hearing ourselves!” (pg 154). People can learn more from one another then we realize and monopolizing a conversation hinders that learning, for this reason I am going to work on not monopolizing conversations that I partake in. 

PREJUDGEMENT

Time is what guides day to day life and without the it things would be impossible to adhere to. Having worked in a call center for Bank of America taking over 60 calls a day, one is bound to use prejudgement when assisting a client because each call is expected to be finished within a certain timeframe. With the massive amount of calls taken during the day, one would think that there might be a little verity within those calls. However, because most of the calls are similar, replacing a debit card, change of address, or the reordering of a tax document, prejudgement is used to finish the call promptly. Prejudgement can, and often does, back fire because another concern within the call can be missed. The prejudgement often adds time to the phone call as oppose to expediting the call. Being sure of what someone is going to say is not possible, which is why it is important to fully listen and only respond once the person has finished expressing themselves.

Religion = Hate Speech

Too many times wars have been started over misunderstandings or by the offensive nature words tote.  Hate speech is a civil war starter. People will fight in the streets over a disagreement of words and sometimes nothing more. It is interesting that hate speech is as guaranteed as any other First Amendment right understanding how people react to  scrutiny. The situation in Libya is an example of how a group of people, when confronted with the right images or insults, will go the extreme for what the believe in. We see this in our country today with the conservative Christians and signs says that homosexuality is a sin or that gays are going to burn in hell. Even if a place like that did exist, I would rather be there than a place where people judge others and tell them what they can and cannot do. Hate speech comes from one place, religions. Living to serve a God and believing that every act completed is by that God can hinder logical decision making. Even these comments about Christianity and God will upset someone, not because a curse word is being used, but because their beliefs are being questioned. Beliefs are passed on from generation to generation, therefore, there is an emotional tie to our beliefs. Because our beliefs are emotional, anything that is said about what we believe in is automatically an emotional insult. The decision to believe what has been passed down from generation to generation is not a logical decision, it is purely emotional. To reduce hate speech we need to reduce religion. 

Pico De Gallo

The American culture is influenced by the cultures of the world, making where we live a very unique place. The mixture of cultures has been referred to as a “melting pot” and is being criticized as of late. The criticism is not without warrant. Everything in the pot is forced to melt together and give up certain qualities that make each item unique. A pico de gallo salsa might be a more relevant metaphor to what the mixtures of cultures really resemble. The pico de gallo salsa has many different ingredients mixed together as a chunky and flavorful dip. The tomatoes, onions, chilies, and lime juice are chopped and mixed together. With salsa, all of the individual flavors stand out, at the same time, each of the flavors blend together. No flavors of the salsa are sacrificed and yet all are apart of one great combination.  As an American, we are exposed to many different cultures and we are able to absorb them and claim them as part of who we are. We may not do everything that the Indian culture does just because we had curry, however, having a cuisine from a foreign land gives us a little insight into what is important to that race of people. 

Abstract Language

"Down, set, hike!" To many people these three words are associated with American Football. Three words with three different meanings. What do they mean? Depending on how these words are used they will mean different things to different individuals. Often "down" is referring to direction, being the opposite of up. In the American Football context it refers to the Quarterback telling all of the offensive players to get ready to be "set." Once the Quarterback yells "set," all of the offensive players need to get ready for the ball to be "hiked" and no one is allowed to move once the "set" call has been made. Shortly after everyone is set the Quarterback will "hike" the ball. The "hike" call commands the football into the Quarterback's hands and gives an order to be completed by all the offensive players on the field. It is not a call for everyone to start walking long distance. These words are abstract in meaning and clarification is needed in order to succeed in playing American Football. These words are not the things themselves, but jargon that is represented differently depending on the context in which they are used. With the knowledge about abstract language it is possible to prevent communication errors.